Pivots and Past Selves

The response I received to my post, Possible Selves, was…….interesting. Readers wanted to know why I did not include my own ‘possible selves’ in the article (Lindsey if this resonated with you enough to write about it, where are your possible selves?) What prevented me? Fear.

I write to share knowledge and ‘find the others’ who can relate to an experience or feeling. Yet I’m afraid to share the pivots I’ve made because it might make me appear less capable, experienced, or, dare I say, flighty. Sometimes I lead with my MBA because of it. I’m not proud of that, but I fear I won’t be taken seriously because I don’t have a traditional 20-year career in finance, consulting, or HR (although I have experience in all three). Rather, I offer a portfolio of related experiences, given the various pivots I’ve made over two decades.

So when I came across Ozan Varol’s latest essay, The Beauty of Letting Go, this passage jumped out and up and down wearing a neon clown suit:

Letting go requires remembering your past. The time, money, and effort you extended to major in art history, go to law school, or start a business - these aren’t costs. They are gifts, from your former self to your current self.

That deserves repeating. Gifts from your former to your current self. It’s a great reframe to look at the breadcrumbs or ‘randomness’ of your past as supercharged PacMan dots that propel you forward. Without further ado, here are the gifts from my former self that make me who I am and good at what I do.

Prelude: Middle East Policy Analyst

I was fascinated with the Middle East from an early age. I chose my college based on its Middle East studies department, worked in DC for a nonprofit focusing on Middle East issues. I even attended graduate school in Tel Aviv for an insider’s perspective and to boost my language skills. [side note: I was a walk-on string bassist for the university’s symphony orchestra]. Ultimately, I didn’t want to be a cog in the wheel of a large diplomatic bureaucracy or part of a think tank, so I made my first career pivot.

The gift to my future self is that I have never given up my love of immersing myself in others’ culture, language, and history to see the world from their (non-Western eyes.

Pivot #1: Investment Consultant

I pivoted to business school and the potential to return to the region as an investor. Fate had other plans. I met my future husband, seized the opportunity to join a large Wall Street player, and enjoyed living in NYC during my 20s. I learned how financial markets really worked (3 crises in 2 years), that I did not want to be part of a giant organization, and that I needed a mission to connect to. I left the large bank for a smaller boutique focused on endowments and foundations - think orchestras, museums, and schools - and found my calling (for a while), helping these institutions invest for the future. I also started to coach the junior analysts on their applications to graduate school based on my experience working at the admissions office during business school.

Gift to my future self: exploring coaching others to reach the next stage of their career; the ability to communicate complicated, arcane topics to both experts and newbies.

Pivot #2: Mompreneur

When we moved to Houston, I was burned out from being a full-time consultant and only a part-time Mom. I was eager to settle into our first house and do the full-time Mom thing until my daughter started school, only two years away. Six months in, I failed at the stay-at-home mom part. I joined boards, took on a leadership role in my alumni association, and explored what I could do to balance raising a family with retaining my professional background and desire to help others. Around this time, I began career coaching friends and their spouses, consulting with small investment funds, and advising on graduate school applications.

The gift of these years was ‘being there’ for my daughter, gaining an even larger appreciation for stay-at-home parents, experimentation, and finding meaning and balance in work.

Pivot #3: Career, Leadership, and Executive Coach

What started as conversations with friends over coffee at my kitchen table turned into 15 years as a coach (or what my mother calls a “Work Therapist.”) For some of these years, I coached clients on career transitions and job search strategies. Others I spent at the University of Houston on staff as a Career Development Coach, designing and delivering programs, reaching out to potential employers, and coaching eager and resilient students. I also spent one year as an Executive Recruiter - it didn’t suit me. After training to become a certified professional coach, I began working with senior leaders at companies like Exxon, CenterPoint, and LyondelBassel. I became active in the International Coaching Federation’s awesome community and became President of the Houston ICF chapter.

Among this past self’s many gifts: Agency. Flexibility. Learning. Supporting my daughter as she navigated high school, the pandemic, and starting college. Honing my coaching and consulting skills. Leading a professional association through change. Also, just because everyone says you’d make a great recruiter doesn’t mean you enjoy being one. Too transactional and I took it personally when a candidate was turned down.

Pivot 4: Outsourced HR Business Partner (Huh??)

A prize for the person who can figure out a better way of describing what I do. Basically, I provide the expertise and extra bandwidth to help organizations address leadership, talent, succession, and performance goals. None of the administrative tasks and all of the fun people stuff. I created this role by merging my Past Selves’ gifts of business and industry knowledge, coaching, and communication skills with a continued desire to help individuals and organizations grow. No way to know how long this pivot will last, what twists or turns will emerge, or what gifts it will offer.

For now, I am enjoying the ride. As you can see from the oak tree photo/metaphor below, pivots are a way of life. Without seeking out the sun and offering counterbalance support to the other limbs, the mighty oak will not thrive.

To thrive. Isn’t that what we humans strive for as well?

Oak Tree's Many Pivots

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Finally, if you or someone you know needs part-time help with the non-administrative side of HR, you can learn more at Lindsey Honari Advisors or reach out to me at my business address, lindsey@lindseyhonariadvisors.com.

(I HATE sounding like a shill, but someone I really like and respect told me to put this at the bottom of my email.)